We Battled the Ministry of Magic!

Groundbreakers

Innovators

Pathfinders

Leaders 

We went to Universal Epic Universe on a beta testing ticket, & did the Harry Potter battle of the ministry ride before they shut it down before the official opening.

It rocked. 

Getting tickets was a harrowing process. It was a lottery based sign up process to get a place in a virtual queue. A staff member jokingly said that getting tickets was harder than getting tickets to a taylor swift concert.

But we did it, getting those tickets was a ridiculous high, even while surrounded by a sea of disappointed faces. That we were able to share two tickets with two people who hadn't managed it was magical, and felt like a massive FU to JK after putting out so much hate into the universe recently.

The ride itself was amazing. Immersive in a way no other potter ride has been, being in the 0.000001% to experience it before it released for general opening felt magical in a way that not much HP stuff has been for a while 

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How many F***ing things do you want?

How many 'F's are in Patriot? 4, 5, or 7?
 

Answers on a postcard to the usual address 

Gaylord Palms?

 Either Gaylord has a different connotation in the UK, or the LGBGTQ+ community in the States has come on leaps & bounds.

Actually, its a huge Marriott hotel & conference centre. 

Take a gander here

25!

25 years with my bestie. Im a lucky man.
 

It's Madness

 One more thing to tick off my bucket list. Shoot an AK47. Done.

The XY contingent spent a happy few hours at The Shooting Gallery Range. If I was sceptical about the colonials attitude to firearms before, I am even more so now. The fact that anyone (as long as they sign a waiver saying that they are not psychopaths, amongst other tick boxes) can pick up a shotgun, machine gun or a pistol, and blast away to their crazy little minds desire scares me shitless. As Owain pointed out, there was a greater than zero chance of us being shot.

Above is the range of lethal boys "toys" available, and in the cabinet is a selection of same to be bought from $300 upwards. 

I felt like a mujidaheen freedom fighter, a cossack trooper, a viet kong, a sandinista. Long live the revolution!

Struck by Disney

Lightning over the Magic Kingdom

Disney is everything I despise about America.

Mega Capitalism gone mad, with every other building in the park being a purchasing opportunity. Selling you shite you dont really want or need. Harking back to a main street America that never was.

Staff bullying you into standing in the right line, or area, unless you have paid extra to get priveleged access.

Interminable queues full of sheep like people, happy to queue for 105 minutes to have what they percive to be a fantastic time (all 150 seconds). All holding smartphones aloft to 'share' the experience with friends. Or, of course, you can pay the iron price & buy fast track passes aka 'feck you pleb', i'm going straight in. Has much changed in the 2000 years since Rome?

Officious service in crap food establishments churning out canteen quality mulch. "But its ok, we are "on park" - its to be expected". 

Every ride with a purchasable photo souvenir.

Blindly accepting that standing in line for 45 mins with no shade in 32°C is ok.

Then watching the grand finale - showcasing every purchasable Disney franchise, to fireworks and lasers, where life ends happily ever after for immaculately curved heroines swooped off their feet by handsome, white prince charmings.

Oh, and has there been a Black African Disney story? Please enlighten me. Scandi, American, Chinese, Polynesian, Indian, even Arabian, but no African - unless you count animals. Ooh there is another thought.

 

Retention Lakes

It seems that Florida was a swamp, low lying land on sand and porous limestone. Prone to a high water table, and sinkholes. Hence land was cheap. So people like Disney bought the land, dug Retention lakes, and used the earth to build levees between these faux lakes. The result is impressive. Lots of little lakes surrounded by useable land, with the lakes connected by pumps & pipes to manage flooding.

Our temporary Gaff is on the edge of one, which is mellow, quiet, cool & teeming with wildlife. Cormorants, Herons, fish, Ducks, buzzards, coipu, lizards & dragonflies. Its lovely. 

Our pool, with the retention lake behind

Buzzed by a heron

Heron on roof

The Beer Hunter rides again!

Tap that beerhouse rocks. If you ever find yourself in Davenport FLA, check it out.

My new happy place. 40 craft brews, pour yourself. Heaven.

Two Beer Walls 

Check in, get a RFID card, grab a pot. Insert card, pull tap, & get charged by the ounce drawn. What a great idea. Lovely little info sheets on each brew on the screen, plus how much you've been charged, & bill so far. Owain & I tried 14 between us, drank about 2 pints max, & had a great time. 

Shall I open one in Swansea? Is Swansea ready for the concept?

Answers on a postcard to the usual place 

The main theme

I've discovered the best way to cope with a theme park, is to sit in the middle, in the Mead Hall, watching the bags, drinking Stoick's ale.

It's a Hard Rock gonna Café

Obligatory visit to HRC to keep the younglings happy. More souvenir pint pots bought to replace the ones at home whose logos had been scoured off by the dishwasher over the years.  At least they were honest & upfront about the price, $4 - presented you @ the shop, boxed, on proffering of your receipt. Beats the crap out of 'medievil' times.

Apparently the largest in the World, & in my opinion the most shite. The food was worse than a poor McD's.  $20 for a greasy burnt burger and a side of oily chips, which skated over the oil slicked plate on delivery. You are not paying for the food quality, though. Would I go again? Not bloody likely.