Hogs I've known & loved part 2

 The Skinny:-

When I mentioned that I needed a motorbike to nip back & fore to Uni, my Mum wanted me to buy a Vespa. (Yeuch) I managed to persuade her that this would be safer than a scooter. God knows how. So I went out and bought my first bike.  It was a 125cc, which was the max you could ride on 'L' plates back in the dawn of prehistory. It proved to be a trusty steed until I went on a trip, & forgot to check the 2-stroke oil. It ran out, and almost trashed the engine. After limping home, I decided to rebuild the engine, with the help of a 'Haynes Workshop manual', lots of enthusiasm, & and new piston rings. This went well, so well that I even had bits left over at the end of the rebuild! It didn't seem to be a problem....

Then Mum & Dad went to London for the weekend, so I sold it & bought this:-

My next ride was bigger, better, faster, and even had orange backlit dials, like a BMW. How could I resist? The seat came off to reveal a secret compartment, easily big enough to hold some sandwiches, if I didn't overfill them. It was a lovely bike, the 4-stroke twin being much smoother than the old 2-stroke single thumper. However, I grew up to be an adult, ish, got a job in Manchester & bought a car. My love affair with bikes didn't end there though.

The car alone proved to be too boring, and my mate in Proctor & Gamble had a bike, sooooo,  I talked myself into buying this: A full-on dirt bike. 

What was I thinking? This was one of my least well thought out plans. The bike didn't have a starter motor, indicators, a second seat, a battery, or even a horn. Instead, to be street legal, it had a kids bike rubber horn. Just to compound that, the gearing was all wrong, giving a top speed of about 65. The fuel had to have oil added as it was a 2-stroke and didn't have an oil tank. Still, it was fun off-roading, and would climb near vertical grades. In a moment of madness, me & Maldwyn Aldwyn drove our bikes to Lytham St. Anne's one weekend, in a feat equal to Hannibal crossing the Alps.

It was a very, very, stupid bike. So I sold it & bought Maldwyn's off him. This was the

CB 250 RS. 

This was a strange mix of 4-stroke, single, twin exhaust slightly smoother thumper. It did a fine job commuting, and even doing the weekly Tesco shop, two-up, and with cardboard boxes of provisions bungeed to the tail rack. Nuts. This wasn't really practical, so the bike had to go, in favour of a 'Brand New' Ford Escort. The Troll wrote this off after 2 weeks, so no more bikes, & bought a Volvo instead.

Later, I wrote the troll off, so I could have a bike again! Hooray! I decided on a new sorta hybrid trial/road machine, (or so the salesman told me)

He lied. After a few months of being disappointed with its performance, I flogged it to a mate, and bought a bigger one. My mate subsequently found that it was an import, and had a power restrictor in the engine. Bastard! I'd sold it needlessly. Off to JT's again, & back to square one. 

I went for this beast, a big, hairy-arsed thumper with a shocking colour palette. A 650cc single. Plenty of power, but lumpy on the road, & too heavy off road. The worst of both worlds.

I took it back to JT's and looked for a swap. The salesman gave me one of these, & said take it for a spin. I returned to the salesroom & bought a new one then & there. THE BEST BIKE I HAD EVER RIDDEN! I've now had it almost 30 years, & never once regretted it. It's smooth, powerful, corners well, brakes well. It's stylish & comfortable. It's a perfect machine. Me & it have lived happily ever after.