Pope John Paul George & Ringo?

So, the death of a Pope on Easter Sunday. 

What are the chances of Him being resurrected 3 days later? Keep your eyes peeled on Wednesday....

What are the chances of the next one being Black, Chinese, or some other ethnicity?

What are the chances of him distributing the enormous wealth of the Catholic Church to help the poor, sick & needy of the world?

What are the chances of a her?

What are the chances of her abolishing celibacy for the priesthood and rooting out child abuse by members of the Church?

About the same as her being called Pope John Paul George & Ringo