They'll never expect the Spanish Invigilation!

 I've had 3 totally different experiences with large organisations recently. 

Since I retired, I have decided to take up exam invigilation as a hobby/pass time/"nice little earner". The process of setting this up has proved to be chalk & cheese.

Swansea University came out tops, with a relatively short application form, a really pleasant interview, and a chilled training session. There was the usual beuracracy involved in joining a large institution, but with the reward of getting a free lanyard, (with auto retractable attachment, no less)! This, along with my professional looking nametag & swipe card made me ridiculously happy. 

Next came the politically correctly named Y Coleg. (The Welsh Government's Welsh language policies shining brightly through academia). Applying involved me emailing the person in charge, and saying "gis a job" in my best Yozzer Hughes prose. There was no application form, just an invite to meet a nice lady who pointed out the evacuation routes in case of emergency. I then had a series of sometimes contradictory emails, but ending in me being invited to carry out my first session. The beuracracy only consisted of getting a DBS check to ensure that I am not a kiddie fiddler, mass murderer or worse; - like a brexiteer.

The most insane of the lot was, bizarrely, my former employer, Bitch, sorry - Bish,  Comprehensive School. They seem to have forgotten that I used to work for them. Still I guess 20 years is a mere bagatelle compared to some of the institutionalised characters found there. 

I asked them to "put my name down" if they needed any new Invigilators back in October, was told that they would, and then heard nothing further. I then noticed an ad on E-Teach for the gig. I duly phoned, & was told to apply online. This involved what seemed to be the same application form that they use for Headteachers. 10 or so pages later, and nearly losing the will to live, I completed the task, to be informed that they would get back to me if I was lucky enough to be called for interview. Several weeks later, and with just a few days notice, it seemed that I was one of the chosen ones. I had a lovely chat with 2 former colleagues on the day, and then waited. Apparently they had to check out my references in case I had gone feral, become a Russian agent, or worse, become a catholic priest in the 5 months since leaving Bitch. I also had to go through the rigmarole of getting a new DBS - the current one they have for me obviously not being good enough. My mate Mel then had a frantic request to complete and return the 8 page (I'm assuming again standard headteacher level) reference form AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Then I waited. 3 weeks later, I thought I'd follow up with a phonecall, where I was informed that they were still waiting on a reference. This was actually funny, as it had to come from my former employer, them. They said they'd chase it up :-) A week later, I heard along the grapevine that they had conducted the new Invigilators training session, and not invited me. 

I shall leave you to draw your own conclusions, whilst I sit here cherishing my "Congratulations you have been successful pending references" letter from them. I suspect I shall hear no more. Still, their loss. And I thought that they needed the job more than I do.